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The water was freezing as I eased the lower half of my body into the pool.

My husband had decided to open the pool during a four day heat wave we had here in the northeast.  Naturally, as soon as the pool was opened, the temps plummeted back down to the sixties, and the heavens opened and the rains came. 

Now, with the rain, the pool is frigid, and I find myself submerging myself in what feels like a Fear Factor stunt to retrieve rocks from the bottom of the pool that the girls found oh so hysterical to throw onto the cover over the winter.

The girls are standing on the deck above me, circling, lamenting the fact that I am in, and woefully, they are not.  I try explaining the exact water temperature in hopes that they’ll stop making this experience more painful than it needs to be.  It doesn’t work.  Why don’t kids under twelve register cold water?

I have officially lost all feeling in my left leg at this point.

“MOM!” Paige yells, still circling on the deck, “Dive under water to get the rocks!” 

She’s kidding, right?  Her directives continue.

“Dive under and do a trick like you did last year!  Come over to me!  No, go over to Allie!  Show me your best swim stroke!  Jump up and down in the water to see how high you can get!” 

“PAIGE!” I yell.  “I am not in here for your entertainment!  I am here to get the rocks!” 

“Oh.”  She’s dejected.  Since when am I not here for her entertainment? 

I maneuver my way around the pool, being extremely careful not the disturb the water and create a wave, that will wash over even more of my body.  I curl my toes around the rocks, and bring them up to me, as opposed to diving down to get them. 

I am finally finished, and heave myself back onto the deck, making a beeline for my towel. 

Paige is standing by the stairs to the deck, ready to make her way back down to grass level.  “Man, that water’s really coldrina, huh, Mom?” 

“It’s what?!” I asked.  I will not tell you what it sounded like she said. 

“Coldrina,” she repeats.  “It means super duper cold.” 

I eye her suspiciously.  “Okaaaaay….”

“Yup, that water looks really coldrina, Mom.” 

“Sure, Paige, whatever.  And let me tell you, so help me God, if you throw rocks onto that pool cover next winter, you will LOSE your pool privileges for the WHOLE summer!” 

Because that water is coldrina, and I’m not getting back into it.