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My husband called today from prison.

But it’s okay because he works there.  And it was actually just a friendly, curtesy call that comes with marriage.  “Hey!  How’s your day going?” he said cheerily.

“Your.  Daughter.” I growled.  “Remember when she got up at SIX A.M. this morning and snuggled into your shoulder and ‘Daddy-ed’ you to death and you said, ‘Oh, isn’t she so cute?’  Yeah.  Don’t do that again.  SIX A.M. IS TOO EARLY FOR BABIES!”

Okay, she’s almost four, but still.

“So, it’s going well then?”

“Well, currently, she’s in a time out because there’s this….goop all over the TV.  And I can only describe it as left over sticker goop.  And, naturally, windex isn’t taking it off, and it’s EVERYWHERE.”

“Did you try alcohol?”

“No, I haven’t tried drinking alcohol yet, but it’s next on my list.”

I brought her upstairs after my phone conversation for lunch.  I tried to get out of her what she did to the TV, but the only explanations I got were, “Sissy did it,” (which, she’s not even in the house, and the TV was fine forty-five minutes ago) or, “I didn’t put ANYTHING on the TV.”  Which was clearly not the case.

Of course, when Daddy got home, she has no problems confessing her sins to him, mostly because she knows if she makes that face where she puffs her bottom lip out and cries some crocodile tears, he’s in her pocket.

“I need to know what that is so I can clean it properly,” he told her.

“It’s glue.  I put glue on the TV, Daddy.”  And she proceeded to lead him to an empty water bottle in the corner of the room, smashed beyond recognition, with the offending glue stick at the bottom.

“Alcohol,” he stated.  “We definitely need alcohol.  I’ll be back from the corner store shortly.”

So, does anyone know if alcohol (rubbing or otherwise) will actually clean the glue off the TV screen?