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We went roller skating with some friends yesterday, after our morning dance team class. We about needed ice skates just to get in to roller skate. Paige almost went down and the poor thing, her arms started flailing, she started grabbing at me in a desperate attempt to keep herself upright. Thankfully, I managed to save her, but what a nightmare. Of course, once we got in to roller skate, both of my girls first time ever, it only got worse. Paige….I love her to death, but she thinks she’s going to go out on skates and be the roller world’s version of Tara Lipinski, immediately. She stood up on her skates, realized it was NOT equivalent to walking, almost went down, and sat her butt back down and said, “I am NOT roller skating.”

“Okay, well then I guess we sit here for 2 hours and watch your friend’s have fun.”

She must’ve mentally psyched herself up for it, because she did end up getting up and participating. Only after I rented a “skate buddy” which looks like a corner of a fence post/battering ram. Turns out you don’t actually need to avoid people and veer with those. You can literally just take people out. Which really, no one there knew how to skate. It was a massive mess of road blocks, 20 car pile ups and aggressive driving.

Even with the skate buddy, Paige went down twice. Once so hard, I really thought she had seriously injured herself. But it turns out Paige is nothing if not dramatic. “What? What did you hurt? Are you okay?”

“I fe-e-e-elllll!”

“Well, I saw that you fell! What did you hurt?”

Through the tears, she cannot contain her laughter. “Just my tushy!”

“Well, that’s because when God made you, he forgot to give you a butt. If you had some cushioning back there….”

She’s now in a full blown hysterical fit of laughter as I clutch her arm, her battering ram and steer her back to the safety of the bench.

She composes herself, calms down and says, “Alright, I’m ready to get back out there.”

I thought we were going to single handedly take out half the competition team four weeks before the first competition. But they all walked out of there with nothing hurt but their pride.

Allie, meanwhile, looked as if she had been born in skates. She took her battering ram, plowed through the crowds, skating in the wrong direction, skated across the rink, went Mach 1 into walls. Nothing phased her. Nothing slowed her down. I watched people veer around her at the last minute as she fearlessly, carelessly plowed through a throng of oncoming traffic. She even ditched her skate buddy/battering ram in the last half hour and took off. She spent more time on the floor than on her feet, but she didn’t shed a single tear, and she basically rolled around on the floor until she could right herself, or until some other parent took pity on her soul. It wasn’t a busy place, and I helped several people’s children while there, and they helped mine. We became a small community of righting toppled children.

They had fun and Allie was already asking to go back today. So I guess the falling left no permanent emotional scarring.

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Paige on the right (obviously), Taylor on the left and Alissa in the middle.

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Allie and Maddy with their skate buddies/battering rams.  Maddy is very similar in personality to Allie.  And together, they’re unstoppable.  I felt like this duo should have bright yellow clothing on and some combination of blinking lights, sirens and back up signaling.  It turns out I couldn’t even watch these two skate because I was afraid I’d be carted out of the rink with a coronary embolism.

Everyone made it out in one piece.  In our group anyway.  I saw no ambulances or emergency first aid by the time we left, so I’ll consider skating a success.  And when my heart rate slows to a normal pace, we may consider going back.