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“Please!  We don’t EAT our band-aids!”

“We don’t sniff our blood.”

“Why, oh why, is there a steak knife under the treadmill?”

“Did you just hit me with your sock?”

“Please get the reindeer off the table.”

“No, we need to get the dog’s foot out of our mouth.”

“Get off the top of the house!” (Play house, but still, it’s about 15 feet off the ground, at the very least!)

“We are not pumas.  We do not pounce on our sister from the top of the chair.”

I figure the list of insanity that spews from my mouth could be endless.  Best to make it an ongoing thing.  What kinds of crazy things have you said?